Beer Jokes

A redneck walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Budweiser, and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The redneck replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home,we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The redneck becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on
your loss."

The redneck looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife had us join that Baptist church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."

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An Indian walks into a bar with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the bartender,"Me want beer." The bartender says, "Sure chief, coming right up. "He gets the Indian a tall draft beer and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun, then he walks out. Four days later the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other. He walks up to the bar and says to
the bartender, "Me want beer." The bartender says,"Whoa, Tanto, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were in here. What was that all about, anyway?" The Indian says, "Me in training for job as Telecom Technician - drink beer, shoot shit, and disappear for a few days."